How do I maintain a long-distance relationship? – Ellen, 51, Orange County, CA



The realistic answer is that you don’t. There are certain situations (less than 1%) where I could see it working, but it’s akin to two high schoolers falling in lust and rushing into getting married at 18, thinking they will be the couple that will beat the odds and make it for the next 50+ years. The real question should be “Why pursue a long-distance relationship in the first place?”

The willingness to accept a long-distance dating relationship indicates one’s lack of abundance mentality. Long-distance relationships are very time-consuming, and the effort you put into one could easily be put into finding someone local. (Note that, in many cases, even living in Orange County and dating someone in Los Angeles could be considered a long-distance relationship. It involves many hours of sitting in traffic to see each other, which will wear just about anybody down.)

There are plenty of millennial dating coaches out there that give great tips on how to pursue a long-distance relationship. I say they don’t have enough life experience to really understand what’s involved, especially for those in our age group. You should not have any problem dating someone who’s within a 30-minute drive.

– Paul

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